The Truth About the Boy Behind the Glasses
by Morgan Says
Summary: An in depth look on the side of Harry James Potter the world never saw.


Title: The Truth About the Boy Behind the Glasses

Author: Morgan Says/ Machiavellian Orange

Rated: PG

Warnings: Brief, moderate levels of violence.

Disclaimer: I do not own and therefore am not making money.

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_The Truth About the Boy Behind the Glasses; an in depth look on the side of Harrison James Potter that the world never saw._

Harry Potter, forever more known as the Great Defender, was a complex human being with a very long list of faults. He, as a teenager, was scrawny and awkward in build and had incredibly messy black hair that was not in the least bit fetching. His long, pale legs with their knobby, dark colored knees were often referred to, by Harry himself, as chicken sticks.

Harry was also color-blind; a fact that most of the European magical population was not privy to. He had Deuteranopia to be exact; the class of dichromasy that almost made it impossible for a person to determine the difference between red, orange, yellow, and green.

His condition was rather sad, because on the rare, disconcerting moments that someone would mention Harry's mother and her "lovely green eyes that were exactly like yours, Harry dear," Harry had no idea what they were talking about, so he would nod his head and remain unusually silent for the remainder of the day.

Along with, or because of, his color-blindness came a humiliatingly ugly wardrobe. Contrary to popular belief, while it has been brought to light that the Dursley family did not particularly like the orphaned child, wearing baggy, second-hand clothing was a secretive display of Harry's cunning, distinctly Slytherin personality; he had preferred to let his peers assume that his muggle family refused to purchase proper attire for their "freak" family member, while in reality, Harry had spent hours begging his Aunt Petunia to allow him to keep his bulky cousin's leftovers. The reason? Harry wished to keep his failure of color coordinating his own clothes (and tying his shoe laces) away from the press and public eye.

It is reasonable to believe that Harry's aunt was astonished by his outlandish request for thread-worn pulls and five sizes too big trousers (and not to mention Harry Potter's thrice broken, circular black spectacles, which the _Daily Profit _now has reason to believe never held prescription lenses at all; merely pieces of clear glass).

Mrs. Next Door, a magic-aware resident of Number 2, Privet Drive, commented on the Potter-Dursley deceptions.

"The Dursley's are not the sort of folk that appreciate any irregularities in their presence. In normal circumstances, they would never have allowed such degrading images and stories referring to the rumor that Harry Potter attended St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys to circulate around… there must have been a great incentive for Vernon to allocate such rubbish…"

Like any other teenager, Harry Potter had blackheads on his nose and spots on his chin that were just too tempting not to pop. During Harry's sixteenth year of life, potions were being developed to cure acne; soon, Harry's furniture would no longer have to suffer from being splattered with traumatizing amounts of foggy colored pimple juice.

"When the boy would put his fingers anywhere near his spots, it was time to run to the quidditch pitch. His face was like an Exploding Snap card game gone wrong!" the former Gryffindor's talking mirror informed.

Since the magical world had, and still has, bands against animal testing, Harry Potter found his true calling in life and was making three galleons a week for applying different colored salves to his blemishes and drinking cherry flavored concoctions that reportedly gave him indigestion.

"I just remember that one second I was sleeping through one of Snape's (the Hogwarts Potions Master) lectures when _POW, _a ripe smell filled up the classroom! Me and Dean reckoned it was a dungbomb Peeves must of dropped," 25 year old _Play Wizard_ star, Seamus Finnegan, recalls.

According to Harry Potter's diary, the source of many of these previously untold truths that was recently found in the possession of Azkaban prisoner, Antonin Dolohov, every morning and every night, Harry would walk up to the boys' dorms' lavatory mirror with all of the courage he could muster to check for progress on the facial cleaner in testing. If Harry's face didn't itch, melt, or change color throughout the course of the day, the boy would consider the day a success.

And now, for the part of the tale worthy of Harry Potter.

As we all know, throughout the centuries, the magical world has spilt apart from mundanes _(Mun-dane: noun, an ordinary person, such as a muggle, outside of a special group, such as those from a magical world)_ because of the intolerance and genocide against all things magical. During the fifteen hundreds, persecution of magical "plague-spreaders" skyrocketed. Mass hysteria broke out amongst the muggles and many witches, wizards, and falsely accused persons of their own kind were massacred.

While certain spells could be used to prevent flame consumption of the body, mundanes soon became aware that for a wizard, no wand equaled no magic, and the muggles acted accordingly.

So did we.

Secret routes, known as the _Boon Trails_, were formed to successfully maneuver wizards from the "Muggle Zones" of Europe to the "Magic Zones" of Europe. These routes included hidden rooms in strategically placed locations, a multitude of which were located in Surrey.

While the Wizard's Council, predecessor of the Ministry of Magic, thought that all hidden rooms were destroyed after the separation of magic and muggle, the _Daily Profit _did some snooping around the Dursley residence and found one of the hidden rooms, restored and refurnished, in the most unlikely of places.

Harry Potter's infamous Cupboard Under the Stairs.

When the press first caught talk of the supposed abuses that the Great Defender underwent while in the care of his relatives, the population as a whole was devastated; some still are.

Now, this distortion of the facts will be cleared, once and for all eternity.

Somehow, the hidden room was conjoined with the Dursley's home; more specifically to the Cupboard where there wasn't enough room to swing a kneazle. A team of _Daily Profit _research agents came across a panel that swung out from the back of the Cupboard and into a fully furnished bedroom. Although the bedroom, which has been proven by forensic experts to have been Harry's, lacks many of the material goods that can be found throughout house, it does include a small bookcase with dusty, well thumbed children's books, a full sized bed, and several magical instruments that were left over from the Witch Hunt days. A few wands were also found.

The magical trinkets carried faint traces of excess power that our scientists have inspected. Harry's fingerprints and magical residue were found around the room. It has been calculated that the various wands, potion supplies, and charms were used from the early 1980's to the early 1990's; the time Harry was approximately ten or eleven years of age and was given his own room by his guardians. The Dursley's, when questioned under the influence of a mild truth potion, were determined to be unaware that the room existed. While it was found that the Dursley family unanimously shared a dislike for Harry Potter, and that they treated him poorly, there was no evidence to prove abuse or neglect of a child. It was, however, discovered that the boy had Metamorphmagus powers, but we do not know if Harry was aware of it himself during the course of his life.

"The boy has always had a messy mop of hair on his head," grunted a half-drugged Vernon Dursley, "my wife would always try to make it look more normal and not so freakish. But he did ma… erm… bad things and it always grew back within the next day. One time I even shaved it all off, and it was there the next day, the little freak."

When the interviews and investigations were concluded, the Dursley family was relocated to a different, normal house and their memories of Our Savior were modified.

There is no doubt that Harry Potter knew about magic prior to his schooling at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This brings up numerous amounts of questions; why did Harry Potter lie to his family, close friends, and the general public? What was he hiding? Why was he acting like a common goblin? And most importantly, can the man who died defeating You-Know-Who still be alive to this day, at the age of 25?

The world may never know.

This reporter would like to extend her regards to those who have been shocked, infuriated, or hurt by this article.

May Harry Potter rest in peace, wherever he may be.

For the _Daily Profit_, where all of your news comes first, this is Machiavelli Orange.

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_Author's Notes: _

This story is not really supposed to be taken seriously; it's not humor, not general… it is just _me_. Oh, I am very open criticism, even if it is from a website where they post the link to the story and then completely pick it apart. (You know who you are, you GA people.)

Every aspect has been carefully researched, and as you may or may not have noticed, some of the pieces are based off of real life.

The color-blindness information was researched.

The information on witch hunts was researched, though some made up aspects were included such as…

The_ Boon Trails _idea came from a mixture of things, most noticeably from the Underground Railroad.

The purely made up on the spot reference to replace muggle, "mundane" as in singular and "mundanes" as in plural, came out of need. I found that the word "muggle" was repeated too often, and much to my horror, there is no other word for a non-magical being.

The History of the Ministry of Magic was researched on HP-Lexicon. There were phrases in the story that, were you to need reference, you could find in the Slang Terms and Expressions section.


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